My Assignment for Today

I assigned myself the task of going to the local public library today to do normal tasks like sending email, posting on the blog and collecting information from the web.  I've already emptied several boxes this morning, and with a certain amount of industry, will have the kitchen and dining room completely intact by the end of today.

Visited an adult class yesterday after church where a man recovering from pneumonia quipped, "I've always told my wife that she was dearer to me than my next breath, however, when I found myself unable to breathe, she went to a tie."  I'm kinda there, gasping for that next breath figuratively, finding some sort of new identity and equilibrium in a place where I am unknown, my "normal" is in disarray, and nothing is easy yet. Hence, my assignment to get out of the house and go to a familiar, normal environment, the library. Had my first job in one, spent the better part of 9 years in one with home schooling and was on the library Friends board for 18 years.

It's weird, but in a way it's almost easier than church, because there are no expectations here, no doctrine to sort through and there is instant, unbiased fraternity, if that makes sense. I think I'm learning something really important about unconditional acceptance in a rather unconventional way today. Love it! 

Also realizing the power of gratitude today and the equally negative power of comparison. When my focus is comparing what was or what could be, or what others have including stuff, relationships, or whatever I think I should have instead of what I do have, I am vulnerable to the disease of bitterness, and blindness to God's incredible love and goodness. So my heart is in a place of peace today as I soak in the comfort and power of the love of God, and reject the insidious sense of entitlement and ingratitude that so easily distracts me from truth. "God's nearness is my good" and "in His presence there is fullness of joy."

So for today I have an internet connection, a quiet place where nothing needs to be done, and a place to sort out my thoughts. I've had my major "funeral" for the losses incurred in the move, so I'm glad to have that behind me - I'm sure Bruce is too. (OK, I'm sure he was a little worried when he found me on the floor of the big closet crying on Saturday.) I'll still have my moments, I'm sure.  "You're gonna LOVE it here!" is the mantra of Tennesseans. Can't wait for that to be true!

Quote for today: "Frogs have it made. They eat what bugs them."